I'm scared. The future is very, very intimidating. I read through the Direct School Application thing for JC admission 2006. And I thought, "It's time I decide on my future for real." Because all the crap about wanting to go into pathology? I'm not too sure about it. Not sure at all.

So, i went to the websites of schools I want to go: VJ, TJ or MJ. I looked at the information given and I think TJ is not a friendly place to study. I mean, looking at it whenever I go past the school, the school just..isn't inviting. A stupid reason to not want to go to the school, but yeah, that's how I feel la.

And VJ. Gosh, it's intimidating. MJ seems the most warm and welcoming one. Subject-wise, there's far too many choices in bloody Singapore! Yes, it's good to have options, unlike in my parents' era when Mum sucked in Science and Arts so she went into Business. See, such a simple choice. But today? We, students, have all gone through holistic development. So we're well-rounded students. But there's an old saying, "Jack of all trades, master of none" And that's bad. Because of that, I realise I don't excel in anything in particular. So how the hell am I supposed to choose my 4 A-level subjects?

Now that the time has come, I realise I've been dreading this moment. The moment I'm forced to grow up, to make life-changing decisions. And I feel insecure about that. What if I make the wrong choice that affects me for the rest of my life? In Literature sense, a "dramatic significance". The description is apt, no?

But maybe I'm thinking, worrying too much, like I often do. Maybe in the end, everything will be alright. Maybe. But I can't help feeling skeptical. Life is not a fairytale.