boredd. played with photoshop a bit.
i`ve got this sudden urge ta be a photographer.
black and white photography.

anyways, everybody was mad at me today.
cuz yest i let the cow use chalk and vandalise my class.
uhmm..okay. whatever.
oohh- finally had billy bombers today.
the guy was like so nice.
we were kinda broke, and the vouchers were useless.
but he accepted them anyways.
thanks ta the guy. =]

we live in a world full of "i"`s.

// looking to the sky ta save me; looking fer sth better.

gaahhh. am starving!
haven`t had anything since recess.
bernard suddenly came ta our class.
reprimanded us fer not doing our homework.
thn say know also didn`t go detention.
wtf lor. crappshit.
cuz angelina tang didn`t tell us anything abt detention.
in the end, half the class kenna 2hrs detention.
and statements of offense fer all 17 of us.
wonderfull A class.
waste of time. not as if bernard even supervised or sth.
we just sat thr, crapping and all.
detention..yeah right.

// all i wanna do, is grow old with you..

am so dead.
haven`t done like 3 compos.
all overdue ardi. =P
haha..jj,cow,syid,ren,dyn came over.
ta "study". rigghhhttt. o.O
ordered some pizza. crapped.
guitar freaks played, obsessed ovr tabs and stuff.
watched wade robson project together.
thn kinda chased them off cuz me and dyn wanted ta swim.
wahaha. madness.
dyn complained costume too big.
got me ta tie.
thn looked like she had some flowers growing on her shoulers.
thn everytime i look at her, laughed like fuck.
almost drowned. haha.

stonned. well, more like just plain tired.
yest was..weird?
suddenly gave sec3s a talk on stds.
gross pls. with all the graphics. o.O
thn prize presentation fer all those ppl with highest scores.
got back result slip.
1A1 4A2 1B3 1B4 1C5
oral postponed till next fri.
had physics, thn went banquet with syid.
thn went through pet safari.
i want a mini shnauzer! or a chihuahua!haha..

thn today early morning mr teo picked me,syid,eirene up.
went ta yu ying sec or sth.
fer colours award ceremony.
went ta take cert fer dmn nball.
saw tkgs, farhana! my idol. lol.
thn dunno why, bcame representative fer dmn pottery too?
gave token ta the guest of honour.
c kunalan or sth..
the guy who held national 100m record until uk shyam broke it.
he damn funny. haha..give talk very inspiring.
felt so outta place cuz we were the only sch not wearing blazer.
syid sis took cert too. fer tpjc softball.
had buffet before going back ta sch.
sat in cher`s room, talk crap a while.
noticed that mr teo left our gift thr..untouched.
guess he still angry but dun wanna show it.
and one more thing.
vjc invited yeanping and wanling ta their open hse.
means if they wanna go vjc, they`ll accept them.
even if their l1r5 as bad as 17.
they`re so lucky.

die young and save yourself

The Girl
She stared at the sunset
Wishing she could fly
Away from the troubles in her life
And into the azure sky

She always felt controlled
Like a puppet dangling from a string
She wished with all her heart
Hoping life was just a fling

She envied the birds
That flew whereever they pleased
She envied every blade of grass
That grew amongst the trees

She opened her arms out wide
Welcoming the breaking of dawn
She just let go of all she held
And then she was gone

Some say she wished too hard
Some say she wished too long
One day they woke up
To find that she was gone

my poem..
nonsense right? o.O

wahahah. retarded day!
gave sher a bracelet/anklet thingie.
journal writing was "creative writing".
wrote a weirded poem. o.O
ikmal gave me money as bdae pres.
a really really really early pres.
so watched dodgeball. FINALLY.
hehe..took sher,jj,cow,dora,ren and syid.
the movie damn funny pls.
aft hearing all the band ppl talk abt it.
haha..wonder whut it`d be like if dodgeball was really a serious sport?

oh yeahh. sth freaky-ish.
angie shouted gdbye frm other side of road.
thn this indian fella.
changing sign or sth.
said bye back. =/ haha..freaky.
from the bus, we looked back, he was like staring.

thn aft movie, walked arnd a bit.
dora is damn cute.
haha..syid was holding a sports shoe.
said it was nice.
thn she turned, the shoe hit dora`s face.
wahhaa. within secs, dora`s face all pink!
yeahh..haha. thn went ta collect my specs.
think i look weirded a bit. =P

// breakaway

tmr training cancelled aft all.
can go watch dodgeball. =]
been bored in class a lot lately.
so keep drawing..nvr pay attention.
gonna have a bad effect on studies.
did this today while discussing fer debate. =P

// over the wings of time, i gave my love away.

tired. training was..okayy.
coach still angry.
all she did was watch us.
think we played better a bit.
cuz was playing game w/ a medicine ball.
it`s better.
makes our game more..steady.
last training on wednesday.
thn we`ll break fer exams.
shld be good la. can recuperate.
think through. thn really focus.

// way away away from here.

had ta wake up early.
go meet ren,rl,nabil,bb,hanif.
fer the mind-mapping shit la. o.O
stuck with them a while.
we all like very rush.
but obviously..
not like we all wanna be arnd each other so much.
such a waste of time.

and i became an accidental shoplifter.
haha..bought comb, walked outta shop.
when we went ta sit down, sth was hanging from my bag.
those kinda rubber band with fake braids.
haha. didn`t realise was hanging thr all the while.
thn wanted ta go out..but like nobody free.
i wanna get finger armour!
haha..dun`t ask me why, just feel like it.

was sleeping when mum suddenly woke me up.
dad forgot wallet, asked her throw out of window.
it ended up on the ledge thing.
i was forced ta climb out window ta get it.
such a retarded family. =P

promised sher`s pic. =P
but too bad la..
yal cannort see her looking sexy.




as requested, my darling boo. =]
first person ta take pic with me + shrt hair.

// lights go out and i can`t be saved.

went fer a swim early morning.
went ta mobius.
im da paper cutter girl. =P
made some postcards.
fooled around.
threw clay at ppl.
thn set up stall at atrium.
whn i left, things were selling pretty good.
met sher.
gosh- she looked so minah.
later i post her pic!
haha..thn bought new specs. =]

gawdd.
feeling so..asphyxiated.

Untitled
A house on fire
A wall of stone
A door that once was opened
An empty face and empty bones
Who ate your heart?
You're cold inside
You're not the one I hoped for
I'll see you on the other side
I'll see you on the other side

The wind wouldn't blow me home
To lie in your heart of hearts
Will I ever see you again
And lie in your heart of hearts

Who ate your heart?
You're cold inside
You're not the one I hoped for
I'll see you on the other side

The wind wouldn't blow me home
To lie in your heart of hearts
Will I ever see you again
And lie in your heart of hearts

// i`d be so alone..

hmm..did badly fer humans.
as usual. =/
kinda realised i shouldn`t be talking abt some stuff here.
no matter how hard i wanna get it out..
it`ll just hafta stay with me.

// dun`t ask why. it`s just a breakdwn, it happens all the time..

*sighs
tummy ache back again.
was okay all day.
took oral. was kinda easy.
conversation asked whut kinda music i liked.
and do i go ta concerts.
had so much ta talk. haha..
thn happily cuttin hair fer my darlin.
lol. im becoming a hairdresser.
and i think i cut not bad arhz. =]
thn tummy suddenly ache again.
took some eno.
alkali ta neutralise acidity. o.O
haha..im becoming a nerd.
hafta, if i wanna do well.

anyways..
turns out im not on team.
am "under probation".
along with reno, cow and some others la.
hmm..dunno if i mind.
just felt kinda numb whn i found out.
talked ta some ppl.
"you may not know it but i know deep dwn you`re sad you didn`t get inta the team. under probation right? you still got a chance ta try fer the team."
hmm..maybe.
but it just kinda feels hopeless.
thn this morning also..
heard sarah and pearlene thinking of stopping training.
wanna take "study leave".
fer sarah maybe, understandable.
triple sci plus nball can be very very tiring.
but pearlene`s not even taking Os nxt yr.
with so many ppl thinking lidat..
how not ta feel hopeless?

// shenanigans.

sick- bleaghs*
think i ate sth bad.
really really baaadd stomachache.
didn`t go training.
didn`t take oral either.
shld have seen ppl rexn ta the short hair.
haha..madness.
so now im a "boy" just cuz i got short hair.
o.O

thn got back ct results.
all except humans la.
bio,phy,e.mths - a1
eng,chem - a2
chi - c5
a.mths - c6

damn shocked.
chi did better than a.mths! =]
looking on past results till now..
realised i either do very well or very bad.
as in all subjects either As or Cs. nvr Bs.
must do well fer all subjects.
if not fer myself, fer my grandpa.
he`s sucha sweet fella.
pinning his hopes on me and my other cousin.
cousin`s studying some IT stuff in london now.
scared i`ll let him down.

// stand by me..

woohoo!~ cut my hairr. =]
feeling so light now..haha..

skipped art again.
everybody`s so half-hearted anyways.
dammit. this chi tuition better pay off.
aiz- its so sickening.
so much homework.
plus schwork also not done.
kinda feel like dropping lit. =/
got oral on mon.
inter-hse postponed.
vp again.

// trace the moment, fall forever.

feeling pms-ed.
somewhut happy...but pissed off.
*think happy thoughts*
[thn maybe i`ll fly!] o.O
haha. mad la. sadded-
got a lot a lot of scratches on my precious guitar.
mum is so not happy with my guitar obsession.
says music is distraction.
thn she started talking abt whut happened ta my uncle.
he dropped outta sch ta join some band.
but it dun`t matter now cuz he has his own company?
but thn again, im not as capable as my uncle.
sickening. wish the ppl outside my hse wld shuddup.
jeez- dog keeps on barking.
and some girl keeps on screaming.
trained. didn`t go out with mr.teo.
he and whole family sick.
poor ian..aarwww..
oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah!
mrs sim said i did well fer bio! *grins*
got no train of thought now.
well i do have la.
it`s just going haywire.
need ta sleep. thn maybe i wun`t feel so confused.

// whut can make me feel this way? my girrrlll..

sth`s wrong with blogger.
posts are up..but not published.
weirded- whutevr.
went ta MGS this morning.
games were okay la.
only lost ta rv.
but mgs, which we won, won rv.
so 3-way tie..
but cuz of goal diff, we were 3rd in our grp.
damn shiok mann.
didn`t kenna thrashed by rgs!
woots- won them in fact. hehe. =]
saw lotsa old pri sch ppl. haha..

anyways. damn tired aft that.
slept on the bus back.
tmr got beep test. die die.
thn got home..opened gate fer buk.
weird fella. suddenly wants ta workout gain muscles.
haha. ended up sitting by pool playing guitar till 10.
he broke my guitar string so he went ta buy new ones.
parents thought i bully him sia. =P
damn rusty on my guitar skills ardi.
felt so good ta play and sing.
buk asked me join his band.
said they been hunting fer singer.
wahhahaah. paiseh mann.
scared end up like fahmy last teacher`s day. =/
see how la. maybe maybe maybe. whu knows?
*yawns* tired ardi.
sg idol. i like that taufik guy.
why? he sang one of my all-time fave songs.
my girrrlll!! =]

// that thing you do.

just got home from the beach.
went all the way ta the bird sanctuary that side.
just sat down and thought a lot.
gosh- it was so damn peaceful.

// dun`t be the victim of a foolish heart.

mann. blogger deleted my really really long post.
anyways, too bleary-eyed ta type it all out again.
just a short recap.
went ta kallang fer friendlys yest.
got scolded by coach.
aiz- dunno whut`s wrong with me la.
can`t seem ta shoot properly.
coach says either i`m too complacent or i`ve lost interest.
i dunno. somebody tell me.

anyways, nball aside.
went ta watch garfield with buk.
aft so long, he`s grown a stupid fringe.
haha..and it`s curly wurly, very unruly.
thn just talked a lot with him.
learnt a new phrase..
"incybincyteenyweenyyellowpolkadotbikini"
isn`t really a useful phrase..but i like it. =]

// it just takes some time, little girl, you`re in the middle of the ride..

gahhh..feeling so pissed off.
the week is gonna be so damn fucken tiring.
trained at coach house thr.
and since thr`s this new nball rule --
NO CLIPS OR HAIRBANDS --
eirene tied my hair in a damn girly way.
just ta get it all outta my face.
gawd. feel like just chopping it all off.

You're Elemant is Wind. You're light-hearted,
care-free, kind, sensative, and mysterious. You
have friends and most absolutely love you. You
can be calm and soothing one minute and ragging
in anger the next so no one wants to get on
your bad side. You're beauty is inspiring and
magical.


What's Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla

// feel like im stoned..

yar. just got home.
*ouch* scalded my tongue. my whole mouth actually.
went ta art this morning.
i actually bothered. =P
wuz on time la. but nobody else wuz thr except ju.
painted on the plastic.
wanted ta see how it looked so i held it up.
lost grip and the plastic flew.
paint all kenna my skirt. aiz-
acrylic paint. won`t come off.
mum won`t be happy. definately not.

thn lunched with jj.
the rest of da ppl went someplace else ta eat.
so long nvr go bbt shop.
talked ta jj. she`s a nice gerl la.
haha..another retard.

anyways. yest had nball bbq.
wheee~ haha..kinda fun la.
trained thn straight way started bbq.
actually coach wuzn`t gonna stay but in the end she did. =]
thn gave her her cher`s day prezzie.
home-made cookies!! hahah.
food was good.
it`s the first bbq in a long time whr i actually had enough food ta be full.
but halfway cow`s dad came ta take her home.
wonder why.
thn me and syid talked ta mr.teo and ms.siti.
this team is like so..hopeless?
but we still wanna try our best ta win nxt yr.
maintain e-zone champs.

=D hihi! aha..taking a break frm sturdying.

so damn tired.
smacked dedrick till ms tang scolded me.
ah whutevr. tht`s whut you get fer disturbing me.
and back ta training tmrs.
was starting ta feeling so free..
gawdd. cramming fer bio.
my head hurts.

SECTION 1//YOURSELF
Call me: ashwini
Age: 14
Height: 163.5
Hair Color: naturally? black
Eye Color: "olive"
Where im at?: superficial "home"

SECTION 2//HAVE YOU EVER??
Fallen off da bed?: lots of times
Had plastic surgery?: nah.
Failed a grade?: i dun`t think im dat dumb!
Had a dream come true?: erm..dunno?
Cheated on a test? haha..class tests yeah la.

SECTION 3// CURRENTLY
Wearing: jeans, black tee.
Eating: asam powder. haha..but dinner was red carp.
Feeling: tired
Reading: this thingie?
Located: ??
Chatting with: THE bimbo.
Listening: teevee.
Should really: sturdie sturdie sturdie. or slp..

SECTION 4//DO YOU...
Brush ur teeth? big D-U-H.
Have any piercings? 1 pair only. waitin ta get nose.
Drive? hope to one day.
Love GOD? im a hindu..godS. yeah.
Ever get off the damn computer: yeahh. but yer kinda hafta drag me away sometimes? =P

SECTION 5// FRIENDS
Who are your best? ren syid dyn sher lati aqil buk
Who is the loudest? ren
Who is the shyest? me?
Who is the hottest? err.new girl? =X lol.
Who laughs the most? we all do.
Who have you known the longest? syid
Do u hang out with the opposite sex? yeah.kinda..
Do u consider yourself popular? nah. ppl hate me.
Do u trust ur friends? most of them
Are you a good friend? hmm..maybe?
Can you keep a secret? depends on how big it is? if it`s impt, yeah.

SECTION 6// LAST PERSON YOU...
Talked to on da phone: mum.
Yelled at: err..nballers?
Tripped: noone.
Turned down: ? turned dwn ta go out? ren.

SECTION 7// PERSONAL
What do you want to be when you grow up? dunno..maybe everything? air stewardess fer a while. thn maybe bus driver..ahha..dunno la..
What was the worst day of ur life? dunno. hasn`t come yet.
What has been the best day of ur life? dunno..hasn`t come yet either
What comes first in ur life? right now..studies?
What do u usually think of before u go to bed? "damn.sch again." or "finally can sleep in tmr"

SECTION 8// FAVORITE
Food: mum`s cooking.
Movie: a lot a lot a lot
Songs: anythin by m5, matchbox, avril
Band: m5
Ice cream flavor: chocchip..peppermint.
Magazine:
Day of the week: any day whn thr`s no sch.
Color: orange purple blue

SECTION 9// DO YOU
Like to walk in the rain: absolutely.
Prefer black or blue pens? black. suits me.
Like to travel? yeahh..wanna travel the world before im 23.
Sleep on your side, tummy or back? tummy.

SECTION 10// ARE YOU
Into any relationship: yeah..wid my mummy, my daddy and my wonderful friends. =P
Outgoing/Anti Social: depends on my mood la..
Big Eater: yeahh. no wonder im getting fat.
Always go a shopping spree: whnevr i can la. and if i have money.

// things will go my way.

wow. mum seems ta be experimental lately.
keeps tryna make new dishes.
today was steamed red carp in hot and sour soup.
*drools* was delecious! =]

anyways. went back ta lyg on tues.
mann..every other sch had halfday ta celebrate cher`s day.
dmn? we were all having common test.
tsktsk. so pathetically unfair.
yar. back ta lyg.
kinda didn`t recognise anybody. =/
everybody`s so different! haha..
but it was fun la.
actually wanted ta follow them go ws fer gathering w/ ms chu.
but had ta go fer hepB final dose at hpb.
gawd. got the violent nurse agn.
could feel her pushing the syringe.
haha..hand was really kinda sore.
but found time ta watch movie aftwards. =P
stepford wives. kinda weirded ending la.
wuz laughing my head off.
whut kinda stewpid director comes up w/ such nonsense?

aiz-im worried abt my uncle now.
sheesh- retired ardi but still wanna go iraq.
says it`s ta help a friend in business.
but read newspaper today.
12 nepalese ppl believed ta be executed.
and they were just thr as cooks or dunno whut.
wld my uncle`s fate be worse?
he`s a damned gurkha soldier! =/
mum thinks it`s cuz nepal has reputation fer its gurkha soldiers.