happie birthday adora!! =) dun`t be too upset abt results and stuff yeah? im sure things will turn out fer the better. i got faith in you.

just got back from the young leaders day thing. it was more like a motivational talk. at kallang theatre. so passed by nball centre. saw some red jerseys. shld be dmn. ardi told coach cldn train today. thn had speakers at the convention. a violinist, that guy whu climbed mt everest and more. all talking abt following your dreams. boring. as usual. but one guy was very interesting, very humorous. his seminar was titled "Do you mind changing your mind?" told us if it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, it IS a duck. if a school looks like a school, feels like a school nad you see teachers, it IS a school. but change your mind. take the school to be a dream factory. (sth lidat). then he gave us this joke:

2 ah bengs were watching a thunderstorm. they saw a flash of lightning and a while later, they heard the thunder. ah beng 1 asked ah beng 2, "eh, how come we see the lightning first then hear the thunder?" to sci students, obviously, yal know the answer. but guess whut ah beng 2 replied? "you idiot. your eyes in front of your ears rite?"

wahaha..a bit lame la. thn talked about life. every morning, thank god you remembered ta wake up. it means you have one more day you can make the most out of, to move one step closer to making your dreams come true. everyone has problems. but you choose your problems. as in if you`re poor, you have the problem of deciding, should you spend money on bus fare or walk. if you`re rich, you got the problem of choosing which car to drive on which day. but no matter whut, strive fer you dreams. cuz dreams aren`t just dreams. they`re meant to be achieved. you should know whut`s in your mind to attain these dreams cuz others dun`t know whut`s in your mind and you`re the only one whu can make your own dremas come true.

another inspiring story:

a 12 year old boy was looking into a businessman`s car. it was very high class and blah blah. the boy loved cars so he was peering through the windows with much interest. whn the businessman returned, he assumed the boy was up to no good. however, he soon found himself chatting with the boy as the boy knew a lot about cars. thn the boy asked "sir, you must be very rich to own a car like this. how much did it cost you?" the man replied, "nothing..my brother gave it to me."
"wow..i wish" but the boys words were cut short because the man said "i know whut you`re gonna say. you wish you had a brother like him." but the man was stunned by whut the boy said instead.. "no. i wish i could be a brother like that."

yeah. we should all be thinking abt others first. instead of "me, myself, and i". and you, as just one person, can make a difference in the world. picture a small stone thrown into a large pond. the pond is transformed by the ripples formed. the ripple effect stays long after the stone sinks. that is whut great leaders do. they leave behind a legacy which people wunt forget.

hmm..some guy frm greenview just added me. he`s a weird fella. almost exactly like aidil. the looks, the thinking, the behaviour, the obsession with nball girls. o.O

nball..training was fun! heh..forgot my notebook at first. was gonna ask mum bring fer me but she told me go meet her at bank thn take. cuz renewed passport so must update particulars personally blah blah. so went and was back fer training at 1130. did drills in atrium. played 2 quarters. had fun. =)

anyways, today`s the last day of sch. fer lower sec. o levels are gonna strt and sec3s gotta go back fer lessons. to strt off on sec4 work i guess. had prize presentation. felt like sucha nerd cuz i was taking prizes fer scrabble, debate and new south wales instead of the normal sports stuff. got back report books:
english - 74 A2
chinese - 51 C6
add maths - 52 C6
e maths - 72 A2
bio - 72 A2
chem - 68 B3
phy - 76 A1
humans - 58 C5

L1R4: 10
L1R5: 15

kinda did worse than the mid year. a bit disappointed. but i got cheered up by the distinction in nsw sci and maths. it`s the first time ever. and prolly the last. heh..distinctions making me happy. i am such a nerd.

heh..some of the mobius pics.
bo0oOoo~ my hp pics not clear. the night mode sucks.

wah. scary shit mann. heh..screamed so much! throat pain ardi. freaked out reno till she dropped the food. wahaha..i give the grudge 5 popcorns! gonna have nitemares tonight. haha..but just as well, the more i slp, the more tired i get. thn today had our dmn idol crapp. singing pathetic la. only 1 gd one, dino. didn`t know dino cld sing. he was sucha a troublesome kid during orientation though. eldds performed. heh..AACC (the girl between that..lol. lameshit.) was like damn sexy.

got our nball club tees too. nice. but ppl keep saying looks like von dutch cuz there`s this wavy line under it. wtf la. i designed it way before stewpid mats/minahs started wearing von dutch shit. kenna scolded by mr teo. vp complained abt us again. no matter whut, we`ll always be singled out. so whut does it matter how hard we try ta change the way dmn chers see us? they`re all a bunch of bias freaks.

taking a break from nball reflections. wahahah..reading tag and. yeah, come to think of it, clarion did hug me today! wahhahaa.. =] before debate i think..or maybe i was dreaming. hur.

won debate! damn freaked out. madhu was just as bad. she shook so bad till i could feel the table shake too. haha..i think she`s very brave. cuz she always talks in front of sch and all. didn`t wanna look at audience so i kept on scribbling. heh. let ppl think i so pro got rebuttals ta scribble.. yeah, whutever. ren and syid made fun of me once i got off stage. said i looked like a lil boy. and that i spend too much time with aqil, having speech problem. and apparently everyone else seemed to notice as well. everyone but me. tsktsk. all asking if i really got speech problem too. and all cuz i dun`t have a habit of pronouncing the d in children..so the word comes out sounding like chilwren. o.O

thn trained. all we seem ta do is disappoint. aiz- played better than monday though. mr teo, mr tan, wanling and chiew ching played too. woah. wuz like thriller mann. so long nvr play so much speed. ah wait! watching tv thn got this guy whose ducks fish fer him cuz he instructs them ta do so! lol..so amused. back ta nball. heh..loved playing the game so fast. but strted getting tiring, couldn`t shoot properly, yadda yadda yadda. hmm..wanling thinks i look like christiano ronaldo. wahaha..hair and ear studs and all. okayy. take it as a compliment. =)

Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, each with ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds!

We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees?"

Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once."

This might mean:
You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner, insurance policy, idea... And you might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims.

Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.

IN A NUTSHELL

Successful people fail more often. They plant more seeds.

When Things Are Beyond Your Control, here's a recipe for permanent misery...

a) Decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
b) Make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.

Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, get angry! That's what miserable people do!

Let's say you expect that:

Friends SHOULD return favours.
People SHOULD appreciate you.
Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
Everyone SHOULD be honest.
Your husband/wife SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed.

There's a better strategy. Have less demands. Instead, have preferences!

For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:

"I WOULD PREFER "A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO!"

This is really a game that you play in your head. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind ...

You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day. You prefer sunshine ... but rain is ok!

To become happier, we either need to

a) change the world, or
b) change our thinking.

It is easier to change our thinking!

It's not what happens to you that determines your happiness. It's how you think about what happens to you.

stuffed. bleaghs- so mobius is over. hmm..prolly gonna strt working on another project soon. took prints on the last day. =) actually wanted ta post pics and all..but i`m so not in the mood.

it`s been kinda depressing lately. and the weather seems ta reflect everybody`s moods. mon supposed ta have beep test, but didn`t. rained so we had theory and all. coach like..just gonna give up on us soon. says she dunno how ta make us improve anymore. neither do we score in studies, nor excel in nball. aiz- we want the results. but we`re not willing to work fer it. gotta get it into our heads. nuthing comes fer free!! thn played game. ground was damn slippery so kept on sliding. she did her "selections". played like shit. but i got on the so called selected team..only cuz coach doesn`t know i failed chi and a maths end yr. whn she sees my report book, prolly gonna be joining syid and all in the probation side.

studies. another reason fer depression. ppl say i shld be glad fer my results cuz im one of the so called better pupils. but whut standard does dmn have anyways? i can`t even meet my own expectations and it`s called good results. wth la..45 in level, uncomfirmed i think. kinda sucky since i`ve nvr been outta the top 40. not a single overall a1, not even fer eng and bio..the 2 easiest subjects fer me. aiz- and i`m worried fer ppl. been a lot of talk abt lots of ppl retained or sent ta na.

post exam activities are going on and it`s like a damn waste of time. inter-house games going on. thn while those taking part play, the rest watch movies in the hall. sorta ta improve sch`s eng. pathetic. 1st language also needs ta be taught this way. dmn is pathetic. and today, under short notice, ms tang told me i hafta replace sean. that arse is "too unreliable". fuck. die. i can`t debate in the surfing in room, let alone the hall. wth. i got a really really really bad case of stage fright. whn i was in pri sch, i froze on stage. and once, i was the narrator. nobody could see me but my voice was quivering and all. dammit. tmr`s gonna be a disaster. did some research in library. hopefully, wun`t embarass the class or myself.

my chi cher talked ta me. ask me consider dropping to take chi B. ren told me she asked her too. so i had ardi discussed with my parents. they`re all fer it. says they rather i pass chi B than fail normal chi. cuz i need ta at least pass chi ta get into jc. but dropping ta chi B. it`s like so..degrading!

back frm mobius. 2nd day kinda slow la. hard ta get ppl ta see..ppl all not interested in art, only younger ppl. aiz- met ruilong and went sculpture sq. all were just slacking outside. thn fauzi talked ta us. reminiscing his dmn days..lunched at parco. syid was supposed ta come. but the stewpid gerl didn`t in the end. tsktsk. went back, slacked some more. painting nails again, crapping. playing with the keyboards, drawing, taking pics. maybe will post them tmrs. and bitched abt ppl too..haha.

cow`s dad came ta pick her up. poor thing. so was left alone some sort. played card tricks wid syarizal and all. crappshit la they all, had this jedi cloak. pretended ta be ghosts. lotsa screaming..haha. and fauzi`s nice ta talk to. aiz- boring day la. dunno whut i wanna type. i`m just too sleepy.

mobius exhibition at sculpture square. 22-24oct!! a sorta desperate attempt ta get ppl thr la. like yest, was sms-ing everyone i knew. sculpture sq is opp fortune centre, middle rd 155, waterloo street thr.

hyperred! wahhahaa..since last nite. the leadership course is finally ovr..2 boring days. but mr.b says gonna have follow-up sessions, maybe even coach junior dmnites. got a feeling if it does happen, it`ll clash with trainings and all.

but anyways, was so panicked yest. kept on looking at the wall clock. wanted ta rush outta thr ta go mobius. thought if i took a cab, i`d get thr faster but thr was a stewpid jam on ecp la. blew 18bucks on cabfare just lidat. now i`m really broke. aiz- whn i got ta mobius, very few ppl arnd la. thn this one guy whu came in said we shld have advertised in the papers or sth. was standing at the entrance thr, tryna pull in passers-by.

i managed ta pull in ppl! wahhaha..cuz this`s sorta like my "first job" so must be proud rite? lalallas~ =P thn it was getting to closing time, drizzling a bit. we all strted fooling arnd. painted nails black, even though i dun`t have much nails ta paint anyways. o.O at the courtyard, me and cow strted spinning round and round around. got real dizzy and thn jing joined too. haha..madness. later on, aqil came by. actually wanted ta play pool, but uhh..... so ended up at parco. everything was closing but the fountain was still on. heh..shld know whut happened next la. played in the fountain! wahhaha..just like whn i was young. and got totally totally drenched! fun-ness. haha..but i was freezing on the train back home. some stewpid mat and minah were laughing at us. whutevr, look at how ridiculous yal look first before laughing at others!

hmm..aft this, running back ta sculpture sq again. exhibition`s till tmr. shall just skip tuition again. how ta tell tuition cher that aft all her effort, i still flunked chi (along with half the sec3s)? results. still dunno much, but at least i got my a1 fer bio. =) that`s all tht matters. haha..thn passed humans. whn 81% of level failed. kae..i think i`ve bragged enough..heh.

wahh. crappshit. got the shock of my life! was at the workshop. everything was okay though we were the only sch without blazers..boring speech, very cold aircon (and only 6 of the 18 aircons were on) and lame games. went fer diff types of wrkshops. and actually learnt a lot of things. met a lotta old pri sch friends. thn met the prc nballers during their recess i think. haha..all kinda shocked at my hair. =P thn all worried abt whether coach was in bad mood but told them she wasn`t arnd yest. suddenly aft event organisation wrkshop, got outta the dance studio and i saw coach! gawdd. why am i so scared of herr? thn going dwn the stairs, she called me..sounded like so angry. thn whn she heard 5 of us not going training tmr cuz of mobius, she got angry cuz she wanted beep test tmr.

aiz- everybody kept disturbing me. "aei, ur coach thr, go talk ta her la"..even mr san also disturb. tsktsk. thn the prc chers thought i wuz a boy cuz they didn`t see my skirt. haha..thn mr san talk abt coach la. laughing cuz he say prc girls sure kenna scolding frm her cuz he not around. haha..prc poor things la. first training ardi kenna beep test. but they seem fit so shld be okay?

thn missed mobius. i wanna go that la..rather art than that wrkshop. mobius exhibition at sculpture square frm 22 - 24oct. 22oct, 5pm is the opening ceremony. the place is behind nanyang academy of fine arts. free exhibition. i`ll be one of the ushers thr. =) bought new jeans with lati. she`s like damn depressed. i know we made fun of her and all la..but she`s quite pitiful really.

anyways, one of the most dreaded things now. results. omgdness. i knew i`d do badly. but it`s still very saddening to actually know the results. actually, dun`t even know exact marks..just knowing i failed sucks. syid told me my eng as normal was "good" but expectedly failed amaths and chi. chi no surprise, cuz i heard more than half the sec3s failed chi but i wuz kinda hoping i`d scrape through amaths. sighs* no such luck. thn ren dun`t wanna tell me my other results. says it`s too depressing ta take the papers outta her bag. must be damn terrible cuz she`s usually damn heck.

rahh~ i dun`t wanna do badly...but can`t change anything anymore rite? hmm..mrteo`s birthday. wonder how the girls gave the cake and huge card. aiz- during wrkshop i was thinking my muscles not aching so much, not so bad. but i think i spoke too soon. cuz my muscles are aching so much now..i want a massage!

yawns* sleepy. heh..im sucha pigg. must sleep so much. =P woah- coach didn`t come today so had physical with mr teo. quite fun..got crowned "jumping queen". another one of mr teo`s lameshit ideas. hur. kinda got pissed later on during the ball drills but went ta talk ta mr teo abt it so training wuz cut short a bit. aiz- we`re like hopeless. but we`re aiming ta win e-zone again. my fingers are crossed. i can feel my muscles starting to ache.

and i`ve decided that frm next training onwards, i`ll fast on alternate trainings. fer syid`s sake. and fer the other muslim girls la. hmm..mum just called. im supposed ta fast today, fer gods i think. more like skip a meal actually. luched a bit so i guess must skip dinner? but im starving!! arghs-

anyways, my passport`s here. bleaghs- stewpid ppl. chnged the passport design. so now it`s weird looking. thn my pic got the official stamp on it. like wth. went through so much trouble ta take a nice passport pic and it ends up being partially covered. i dunno why i care cuz noone cept some strange person behind the immigration counter will see it but thn again, i`m just another vainpot. heh..wonder if the person will keep on staring at my pic and me, wondering if i`m a girl or boy. =P thn now, gonna be so troublesome. must send all the photocopied documents ta the banks and sch. tsktsk. speaking of banks, i want my cheque!!

wahhh..dun`t feel like going the wrkshop/convention ardi! sucha waste of time. 7am to 5pm. aiz- need ta go make birthday card fer mrteo ardi. tmr`s his birthday. =)

oh yeah, tmr`s my birthday. again. haha..accd ta nepali calender la.

wahahah..was at eastpoint with my mum. wanted ta grocery shop and buy back dinner or sth. thn bumped into aqil. lol..i went into gio, so the 2 of them had no choice but ta talk ta each other. thn i think my mum got awkward, said wanted to shop, so shoo-ed me and aqil off, asked us go eat or sth..haha. freaked a bit la..but it`s kinda okay. mum doesnt mind but she was like "he`s sweet la..softspoken and all. but i think he`s too short to be ur type". haha..madness.

anyways, now i must decide. thurs and fri either go fer art or fer some leadership wrkshop thing at prc. didn`t even know abt it till lati called me this morning, aft the meeting was ardi ovr. thn thr`s training too.

aiz- speaking of which...i`m so so sooo dreading nball tmr. die. scared la. everytime i think of nball, i`ll have this feeling of dread, fear, inside me. plus it doesn`t help that my fitness has prolly dropped ta way below zero. sucha stressful cca! hmm..if only pool was a cca. that`d be oh so wonderfool.

lalallas~ supposed ta go fer art later on.. but i`m not going. need ta go off somewhr. ta prep fer some traditional thing. like malays got their raya, chi got their new yr, similar stuff la. but i dun`t see the point cuz all my relatives not in sg ardi. we`re prolli just gonna go visit "family friends". i think i`m damn pathetic. dun`t even know anything abt my own traditions and stuff. but i do know i must pierce my nose. =) it`s been long ovrdue. but just kinda waitin ta do it aft i graduate frm nball.

boooorreeeddd. watching oprah show of all shows. most talented kids. this girl is tryna make tarantulas mate in fron of national tv. haha..nonsense. but these kids are bloody talanted. one whu just turned 14, and he`s taking his ph.D. o.O

girlsdayout

err..this perfect eng thing doesn`t work fer me. =P
shagged. =) thought i was late, but dyn and syid were later. haha..reached suntec at 3plus, met reno, walked. wahhaha..was playing with the fooseball table at topshop. somehow, the ball flew off the bloody table. haha..so malu-ating. got some jc ppl laughing at us. haha..thn embarrassed ourselves further at gio. klarr, more lyk syid and me. cuz we`re the weird kids.."75% heterosexual, 15%homosexual and 10%confused" haha..thn rushed off ta far east. woah- sucha a waste mann. walked around so much but didn`t buy anything. wanted ta get a backpack actually, but decided against it cuz the stupid guy at the shop was sucha perv. accrd ta dyn and ren, he was checkin out syid and my arses. like, wth? so guy-ish oso wanna check out. tsktsk. despo. o.O took neoprints and on the way home, we were taking lotsa pic on the mrt, with dyn`s new k700i. pic quality very gd. thn got those stewpid frames. we got a kick outta it. lol..

I'm late. But then again, it's nothing new so I guess I'll just do a quick update. Exams are over! Finally. On the other hand, intensive training is gonna begin. After Maths paper, I finally went to finish up the balls for the exhibition. The exhibition is on 22october by the way. If anyone of yal are interested, go over to sculpture square at 5pm. Sculpture square is near Bugis, behind the Nanyang Acedemy of Fine Arts (NAFA). So yeah, there I was going home after doing my balls and horrors of all horrors, juniors at the netball area again, probably gonna run or something. They're so..united. They always seem to run together and all. My batch, on the other hand, all a bunch of lazy people. If we do exercise, we don't bother to gather as a group and do it. Anyhow, gotta rush off. I'm late!

I got dragged to Mustaffa Centre by my parents. Mustaffa! Of all the bloody places, especially on a Sunday, when it's packed with Tamils. Why? Because the groceries there are well, "closer to home", more Nepali style. Not that I'm racist or I have anything against Indians but those buggers were just plain rude. Is it that hard to just open your mouth and say "Excuse me"? Apparently so, cuz I was being pushed everywhere I went.

Anyways, I changed my template. (Like duh!) For my cousin's sake really. I finally talked to her after, like god knows how many months. And I thought it would be best to have a tagboard, to communicate with others other than me, myself and I.

I miss them. Seriously, where have they disappeared to?

arw shit.
wasted a whole day.
didn`t do anything at all.
just stonned at home.
pigged out on pizza with mum.
balls also not done.
watched butterflye effect instead.
left me fucken confused.
but it was nice. in a weird way i guess.
jeez- somebody smack me.

hmm..it`s pretty interesting ta read ppl`s blogs.
and i dun`t mean just your normal group of friends.
just random blog hopping.
and after all the reading, i`ve come to a conclusion.
what i`m gonna say is very cliche-d. o.O
asian bloggers are..well, BORING.
prolly cuz they`re all young. [like me]
so all that is written is a load of crap.
[basically like what i`m typing out now.]
on the other hand..
the rest of the world seems to think a lot more.
you cld say they`re less selfish.
or maybe it`s the age difference.
it`s a fact that most youngsters [like me] are immature.

sth interesting:
"Now, let's talk about the Iraqi Prison Abuse. Frankly, I'm not surprised at all by these reports. I heard the same situation back when the mighty US of A bombed the hell out of Afghanistan. I'm not into details about this so I'll conclude what I feel about this. Personally, I think that someone should hire a damn good sniper to shoot Bush Jr. and his partner-in-crime, Rumsfeld. These buggers doesn't deserve a place in God's green Earth. Let alone a place in Heaven. How can the Americans have patience with these two jackasses?

But in the end, what can we, the international community, do? Even if our numbers are greater than Bush's administration, we're still considered as a minority. We're all afraid of the Americans. Without them, our economy are doomed, our lives doomed and hell, no more McDonald's! Argh! The horror!"

hur. such irony.
hmm..i think i should start writing in perfect eng. o.O

uhh..didn`t go jc open houses wid ren and syid.
maybe i shld have went.
can go air rifle at vjc again.
sighs* really hope one day i`ll get thr.
but anyways, gotta finish my balls!
exhibition on 22oct. that`s 6 more days! =]

hmm..watching my girl. sucha sweet movie.

GUILT

lol. yest was fun.
went down ta suntec fer lunch.
and sat at delifrance, ppl watching.
heh. wondering if im bi or sth.
ogling at gerls in minis with long legs.
haha..madness.

err..a mths no hope.
dunno why ppl say paper2 easier than paper1.
aft a maths went bowling!
haha..after a long long time.
thn dyn came ovr ta swim.
hur. 2 hrs in the sun, and i go tan lines all over me ardi.
haha..stayed in jacuzzi.
shall make it a point ta swim every week.
and exercise. i been trying. really.
run a bit on treadmill.
up stairs. just little things.

wenta bugis afterwards.
watched wimbledon. is that how ya spell it?
just another typical love story.
cept it centres around tennis.
i wanna play tennis! =P

You are purple. What a romantic person you are. You're sentimental and forward-looking (those are opposites.). You're a sophisticated and refined--with a refind taste for chocolates and wine (yum...). Tempermental and moody, you let people know when you're angry. But other times, you just sit and sulk. Alone. When around people, you're a generous person, with insatiable needs. You're a starving artist, basically. You're enjoy getting into debates over politics and religion with people of the same intelligence of you. But you know they can never convince you otherwise, you stubborn person, you. As a unique person you are (not to mention just a tad bit eccentric...), you're well-liked by either a few people, or too many people...


What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

heh. ripped off clarion.
anyways, wanted ta post tis pic up..
i just looked at it.
and i ended up staring fer so long.
and i just kinda got lost in it.

hmm..was blog hopping and thn i rem something.
or rather someone.
an asshole actually.
i dunt understand guys.
they want what [more like who] they can`t have.
and all the while, something [or someone] better is thr, waiting fer them.
and they`re too blind to notice.
dun`t get me wrong.
it has nuthing ta do with me.
i`m just pissed off at how he treats her.
even though she`s so in love with him.

anyways anyways anyways, bio was okay.
so was e maths.
yea. i`m lying ta myself. o.O
gawwd. i dun`t want the exams ta end!
yea, kinda ironic i know.
since i keep on complaining and stuff.
but then again, exams equals no nball.
hur. training starts next wed. aiz-
dun`t get me wrong.
i love nball.
i just dun`t like the trainings.
it`s way too stressful.
something bound ta happen at every training.
and i`m a lousy captain.
and i`m the type ta run away from problems.
it`s really a bad combo.

was talking ta syid on the way home.
and i think that aft sec4, imma be obese.
seriously.
i`m too lazy fer my own good.

grandma called! =]
miss my family back home so much.

sg poly student playing street soccer game dies after getting hit by ball.
wow. i dunt understand how someone so healthy cld just die.
aiz- shld learn ta count my blessings more.
instead of just sitting around complaining non stop.
but thn again, death is sth i look forward to.
wanna die young. instead of troubling others.

chem and ss were..alrite la i guess?
scribbled a lot of nonsense.
thn went ta take passport pic again.
cuz mum smudged the previous ones with ink.
wanted ta collect mum`s pic but they accidentally deleted it.
hur. mum was so pissed off.
something happened. not supposed to but it did.
and it`s left me damn confused.
anyways..as usual, didn`t study fer tmr`s bio.
just gonna wing it. yea. wish me luck.

it`s useless studying.
nuthing goes inta this dumb head of mine.
can`t concentrate anyways.

end-yr examinations flunkee over and out.

lyrics from promise, by matchbook romance.



just felt really really bored.
kinda in a dreamy-ish state.
and i think i`m hooked on matchbook romance.

studied geog like fuck. o.O
brain is like totally crammed now.
how the hell am i gonna study fer a maths too?
my brain not enuff space fer it all. aiz-

parents woke me up.
forced me ta go take passport pic.
renew passport otherwise i`ll be sent back ta nepal.
yeah. i wish.
went ta swensens fer lunch.
had no appetite..too worried abt exams.
walked arnd a bit.
omgdness!! saw this hot red elec.
*drools. i want it i want it i want it!
good price and in mint condish.
kept telling myself, mustn`t be choosy.
getting another just as nice electric blue one.

feeling very distracted lately.
it`s like everytime i wanna do some work, i`ll be stonned.
thn wun`t get anything done and i`ll start panicking.
building up this stupid habit called procrastination.

oh and one more thing.
i miss my long hair.

didn`t realise how tired i was.
tried ta sleep early last night but i cldn`t.
nose was totally blocked.
cldn`t stop coughing.
felt so suffocated.
just whn i finally thought i cld slp, i`d cough until i felt like puking.
parents kept coming in ta check on me.
somehow i fell asleep i guess.
next thing i know, its ardi 1pm.
aft lunch, slept some more.
decided ta skip tution.
so i cld "prepare fer exams".
but in the end, didn`t study at all cuz nuthin got into my head.
im so scared i`ll flunk all my subjects.
haven`t been doing well this yr.
why do i still feel so tired?
this coming frm someone who`s ardi slept 17hrs today.

aiz- it`s confirmed.
imma flunk my chi..as expected.
couldn`t do the paper at all.
and it didn`t help that my nose kept on running. bleaghs-

but it doesn`t matter at all.
cuz i got ta see my future elec guit today. =]
went ta penin thr with rie ta get the pick-ups changed.
the guy said it`ll be ready in 4 or 5 days.
just feeling so damn happy.
thn bro gave me a mesh-cap. wahhaha.
my head`s too small ta fit into it properly though.
went shopping a bit..but didn`t find anything i liked.
somehow we ended up back on train ta tampines.
and played pool at rovers.
cuz scared go pavillion kenna kicked out again.
im addicted to pool seh.

heh. great balls of fire!
drooled ovr taufik.
speaking of drool..
darryl was sleeping in class.
and drooling. ew..wahahhaa..
thr was like a pool of saliva on the floor.
wahhaha. he`s damn cute la.
looks kinda like ronald susilo too.
*sniffs* damn this blocked nose.

aqil,ren,syid,dora,coww got me this swatch skin.
am grinning from ear to ear sehh. =]
early in the morning, parents gave me huge hugs.
got another butterfly anklet.
haha..thn da hmt girls damn cheeky.
force me eat some citric acid coated candy befor giving me a present.
honestly, it`s weird.
cuz i nvr really talked ta them befor.
but thanks ta them anyways.
ren and syid wanted ta do a birthday bash..
but it wuz more like tickles.
haha..annddd..best of all, elec guitar coming soon!!
just need ta get the pick-ups right bro? =]

gahhh~ my plans got messed up. o.O
wanted ta finish up my balls.
but pottery room was closed.
mann. fauzi`s coming ta collect tmr.
collect balls as well as write-ups.
and i haven`t even done a single ball.
and no way am i staying back tmr ta do them.
came home straight. walked all the way.
suddenly felt so..alone.
thought a lot.
dunno why, been thinking a lot lately.
a lot of nonsense basically.
but it`s still too much thinking.
well, fer someone like me anyways.
and i can`t rem..was i supposed ta study with the coww?
mann..better go do the obs write-up..
it`s long overdue.

feeling damn groggy.
went out ta bugis yest..
halfway felt whole body aching lidat.
got home, high fever.
thought it`d be okay by today.
but wasn`t so didn`t go sch today.
haha..had a delivery boy bring me my stuff from sch. =]

whut is it with ppl moving to yishun?
ppl frm tampines ta yishun. aiz-

feeling more stonned than usual.
had ta wake up early.
mum took her medal..haha.
so proud of her. =P
went sch, only some ppl thr.
lazy ta cont with mobius.
but it takes mind off things right..
so why not?
talked and stuff.
elroy`s piece is nice.
freaky but nice.

aft tuition, syarizal called.
wahahha. madness.
he`s a freaky fella.
call me and suddenly started singing.
in high pitched voice!
was like wtf, and cldn`t stop laughing.
lol. nice ta have ppl like tis ta make me smile.

anyways, went ta play pool with buk.
thn lati joined us.
haha..kenna chased out la.
first was okay..played full hour thn went tm a while.
but thn went back again..
halfway playing, the guy ask fer i/c.
so chased out la.
nonsense. dun`t understand why thr`s an age limit fer snooker.
anyways, love my bro.
best bro in the world.
thanks fer teaching me how ta play. =]

i must be a very mean person.
cuz i can`t feel feelings.
maybe it`s true.
haven`t felt hurt since 2yrs ago.
it`s always chanelled into anger.
or hyperactivity.

eng paper was okay.
wrote the compo very damn outta point.
but couldn`t help it..
hand just kept on scribbling.
thn had chi oral.
i think i`ll pass. =]
thn watched white chicks!
wahahha..was damn hilarious pls.

somebody take me to alicia keys concert pls!