I'm finally back on the com. Internet connection's been giving me hell the past few days!

Holidays are here. Yea, right. What holiday?

There's class practically everyday!

Like tmr, I already planned to go see some ice sculptures and suddenly, Aqil has class. Fine. Wanted to go zoo with Ren and some of my class ppl and suddenly, Ms Poh announces we have Geog class tmr. No fairr.

Don't we deserve some kind of break after the MT O?

Speaking of which, it was fine. Yes, just fine. If screwing up paper2 is fine. I spent the whole weekend studying so, so hard. And what comes out? Stupid simple words which I wasn't expecting at all! Life's like that. As Madhu would put it.

My only comfort is if I don't get the grade I want, I can always sit the paper again later this year.

After the paper.. actually wanted to watch Star Wars again. But we didn't wanna watch it so late. Sher ended up at my house. She loves that my house is full of perfume. Haha.. And she also loves that my phone can take much clearer pics than hers.







This one's mine..



Cute, right, the monkey?

And in the evening, there was a Meet the Parents session. For the first time, dad really cared. He saw my report book and was like, "All these subjects, I expect you to get A1s for O Levels."

Well, it's not as if I didn't already tell myself the same thing.

But later on, he was still sweet la. =) "I see you've improved on your Chinese a lot. Good. I'm happy you're learning Chi. Your grandfather's even happier. He'll get you a job at the Chi embassy." Haha.. (Family "joke" because of my granddad's obsession with Chi.) He wanted to talk to LLL but he saw the line and who was in the line and decided to just leave.

Friday, Ren and I went to see coach at Pasir Ris Crest. Her knee still not healed properly. But she's still the same la. Shouting, shouting, shouting. Haha. But it was nice seeing her again. She thinks we're too fair already. This June probably gonna join Renegades.. play, have fun. It's been so long since I played Netball! And I'm so unfit already. Cellulite. Urgh. Haha. It was nice seeing the PRC girls and listening to Mr.San complain again.

Today, there was a Career Guidance Seminar. I got to sit through Mass Comm and because of some mix up, sat through some IT nonsense instead of Biomed. But the Mass Comm was interesting. Journalism for me, maybe?

Afterwards, rushed down to ACS(I) for the talk about the IB programme. I so wanna go there too. But how? My mid year L1R5 was 22. Like hello? I can't even go to a JC with that, and I'm bothering to apply through DSA for schools like VJ, TJ and ACS? Maybe I should just wait for Prelims. But right now, I really hope I can make it to ACS.

Something interesting about ACS. Haha. We convinced our "tour guides" to let us go to the clocktower. So there we were, opening door after door, climbing flight after flight of stairs. Annndd. Since it's the clocktower, the place was narrow but the thing is.. there were matresses lying around. So what do guys (aged 16 with raging hormones) think about? Haha..Sean even swore the strings were probably used as bondage.

Hmm.

Whatever they guys there do to.. erm.. entertain themselves.. doesn't really matter la. It's a good school with kids who are effing rich and at the same time, extremely clever. And I wanna go there!

Oh, yeah. Hot new topic: My dad's cool new bike.. And it's complete lack of speed!

Coach made me think. And re-think and re-think. VJ: Good rep, but accd to coach, too slack, no monitoring and too much activities, studies will go downhill unless I stand firm on my decisions and not get swayed by other people's persuasive powers. TJ: Even if I don't join Netball, Coach will be around to look out for me and monitor me. Or perhaps it's just propaganda..

I'm so overwhelmed by Chinese can. Imagine if one subject only, and we're stressed out, how will the real Os be like?

I wanna watch Star Wars againn. But Reno couldn't make it on Monday. Wasted the day away. There was a scary encounter on Tues. But I guess it's alright. Dad knows Aqil now and even has a nickname for him: Babyface. Ha! Rubbish. The highlight of the week, I suppose is the Dunman Idol auditions?

No.. I didn't try out. I was the judge! The teachers couldn't make it so somehow, I was amongst the other students filling in. It was fun. But I just couldn't bear to be cruel la.

Oh, yeah.. I'm super impressed by Mrs Low. =) She knows her students so well and has planned out an impressive schedule for all the way up to Prelims. I now have one less subject to worry about.

P.S, apologies to my cousin, who vehemently protests to my claim that he thinks he's uber cool. But kay la, Ed, I'm sorry.

First outing with my cousin. I've knwon him all my life and I've never ever even held a proper conversation with him till this year. He's nineteen and happens to think he's like so uber cool. Yeah..Right.

Star Wars was so-so la. But effects were good. Of course la, it's Star Wars. Haha. Hayden Christensen may be good-looking but he must must must learn to act better. The lovey dovey conversation between him and Padme wasn't lovey dovey. It was lame! Hahha. It didn't even show that the two were in love, more like just saying sth for the sake of saying it. No feeling la dey.

Then erm.. Someone explain to me how Anakin's arm and both legs can be cut off at the same time? The distance is a bit off. And how come when jedis' hands are cut off, ppl are decapitated, there isn't any blood and in the last scene, where did Anakin's legs and forearm disappear to after being cut off? And one more thing. Darth Vader's suit is to like, support his spine and help his breathing problems thus the asthmatic wheezing but come on la, his arm and legs got cut off and he caught fire. His spine wasn't boken. So how come he needs the whole suit and how did he suddenly get breathing problems?

The movie was a bit emotional maybe, with all the jedis being ambushed by their own troops and murdered. But Yoda could still fight! Haha. Cuteness. (If your mind is as warped as mine.) I was surprised. The whole Anakin going to the dark side was for love. Ah, nevermind. I shall watch the movie again and hopefully, find more things to muse about.

We had a mini career guidance seminar today. A lawyer, a policeman and a journalist. The journalist put me off journalism. The lawyer on the other hand, was impressive. Haha. He's witty, hurtful, and charming in his own right. Ren and I were walking about how we could definitely imagine Byron as that lawyer.

Somehow, the talk was more about "studying hard" and abstaining from pre-marital sex than about career prospects. I quote Ms Yew, "Do not have pre-marital sex! If you feel the urge, eat chocolates!" Ironic, considering chocolate is an aphrodisiac.

Anyways, let's reminisce. It's been long overdue.

The last game of DMN Netball 'B' Div '05.



Sec 4s.



Family portrait. =)



Hah! The closest we got to a pic with coach.



Defenders.



Attackers.



Candid shot?



"Come here, baby." ;)



Eh..off centre la. Must be Longxin take one.



DMN & PRCS Netball



'B' Div '05. I'm missing it already.

She felt the darkness move in closer, take on weight, begin to immobilise her with its destiny. She tried to focus on the available light, picking out one of the brightest stars in the swath of the Milky Way. But almost immediately it seemed to disappear, as if looking at it somehow used up its light, reaching out of its own past for her eyes, so far in its future. The star popped back into existence when she moved her focus just to the right - an immeasurable stretch of time and space covered in infinitesimal fractions of both - and it entered her close peripheral vision where she could see it again. One star after another, fading and reappearing, endless light-years, time for a star's birth and death, expressed in a flaw in her sight. Or perhaps the fault was in her perception: the star didn't fade, but her mind refused to acknowledge what it knew no longer existed. She moved her gaze back and forth a few more times, losing and then finding one star in particular. Perhaps that's what she needed to do with herself: look obliquely in order to bring whatever was left of herself into view, or to see what there had been before it seemed to have disappeared, to convince herself it hadn't.

Signs that lead to misunderstanding

1. In a restroom:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW


2. In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT


3. In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS


4. In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN


5. In another office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD


6. Outside a second-hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?


7. Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS


8. Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR


9. Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR


10. Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.


11. Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS


12. On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.
(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

3 days of getting back our results. I got depressed. A little. But I drowned it all away in the pool.

There's just sth about swimming alone at night, when you got the pool all to yourself.

Swim, swim, swim. Back and forth. Forever? I wish.

I just like being under the water, weightless. Look around, it's dark, save for the beams of light which make the water look greenish. I used to imagine I was in a sunken ship kinda thing, with the the murky-looking water, and the beams of light being the portholes of the ship. A bit like deep blue sea? haha. Rubbish, I know.

The 3 days revealed mostly shitty results, one after another. From all my sciences to A.Maths.

But on the bright side, there's still hope for my Chi yet and I really don't need to drop to Chi B. Annnd, I passed Geog. Though not spectacularly, but it was still nice to know I passed Geog after the bleak picture Ms Poh painted. But anyhows, looking at the results overall, I think I'm losing my intelligence. (And DON'T ask, "You mean you actually HAD any intelligence?")

Eng, E.Maths, Phy, Bio : B3
Chi, Chem : B4
Humans, Lit : C6
A. Maths : D7

Blame it on myself. The studying-the-day-before-exam rubbish. I really should stop procrastinating. And wishing I was a genius. Instead, study, study, study. Yes, that is what I shall do. I hope it pays to be a nerd.

Ooh. I can feel myself turning darker already. The pool was nice and empty, as per normal. Aqil swam with me. (Or more like left me behind in the bubbles.) I should swim more. And in the morning, trained a bit with with the juniors. =) I should train more as well. Run more, to be exact. And tmr, having a squash session with dad! I'm such a sports freak. I like I like I like!

On a lower note, my suspicions were confirmed by Ms Poh. I failed Geog. Bahh. Sucker. According to Ms Siti, our class MSG for A.Maths, supposedly the best, is only 5.sth la. =/ And the rest of the level did just as bad. I'm dreading tmr.

I had tuition today again, to make up for last week's session. I needed to clear my mind. So, I found myself at the beach.



Then, I spotted something..



Upon closer inspection..



Eh! It's a jellyfish!



And another one!

In fact, for the first time in my life, I saw many jellyfish. Heh. *Poke, poke.* Eh, they're really like jelly! Hahhaha.

Rain, rain, rain. =) The sky is dark and gloomy. I see the clouds rolling in. I wanna walk in the rain when it starts. Hear the sound of thunder. I feel so deprived of rain! Haha.

Just now, after tuition ended, I cut across the field opposite Bedok LJS to get to the bus stop. As I was walking, singing very loudly the lyrics of "You're a God" by Vertical Horizon which happened to be blasting through the earpiece of my mp3, lightning (I used to have trouble spelling this word. Always spelt it lighting.) lit up the sky. I kinda felt like I was in a prelude to Singing in the Rain. o.O I don't remember the last time I saw the sky that way. So, being the idiot that I am, I thought I could get my phone ready, facing sky-wards, hoping to get a nice pic. But, I'm an idiot, no? Stood there for a full 10 minutes and still no lightning.

Later, this idiot felt like being evil a teeny weeny bit. =) Walking towards the side gate of the condominium, I saw a few guys sitting down at the sidewalk. Obviously, they were waiting for someone to come along and open the door cuz I saw them standing up and walking behind me as I went to the gate. But I decided I shouldn't be so nice. I just opened the gate wide enough for me to enter so the thing would close back fast. Yes, I heard them calling me, but I just pretended the music in my ear was so loud I couldn't hear. =)

Goodnight world. I'm feeling very happy now, snuggled up listening to the lullaby of raindrops. But I feel like going out to play in the rain. Accompany me, anyone?

I'm scared. The future is very, very intimidating. I read through the Direct School Application thing for JC admission 2006. And I thought, "It's time I decide on my future for real." Because all the crap about wanting to go into pathology? I'm not too sure about it. Not sure at all.

So, i went to the websites of schools I want to go: VJ, TJ or MJ. I looked at the information given and I think TJ is not a friendly place to study. I mean, looking at it whenever I go past the school, the school just..isn't inviting. A stupid reason to not want to go to the school, but yeah, that's how I feel la.

And VJ. Gosh, it's intimidating. MJ seems the most warm and welcoming one. Subject-wise, there's far too many choices in bloody Singapore! Yes, it's good to have options, unlike in my parents' era when Mum sucked in Science and Arts so she went into Business. See, such a simple choice. But today? We, students, have all gone through holistic development. So we're well-rounded students. But there's an old saying, "Jack of all trades, master of none" And that's bad. Because of that, I realise I don't excel in anything in particular. So how the hell am I supposed to choose my 4 A-level subjects?

Now that the time has come, I realise I've been dreading this moment. The moment I'm forced to grow up, to make life-changing decisions. And I feel insecure about that. What if I make the wrong choice that affects me for the rest of my life? In Literature sense, a "dramatic significance". The description is apt, no?

But maybe I'm thinking, worrying too much, like I often do. Maybe in the end, everything will be alright. Maybe. But I can't help feeling skeptical. Life is not a fairytale.

Ahh.. I'm so super bloated, bloated to the point of nausea! Haha. And being bloated at this time of day makes me drowsy as well. But thankfully, somehow, I managed to drag myself across Tampines and stumbled home, where I can't seem to get off of this comfy bed. I feel like a beached whale!

Iren, Syid and I went to TM with Zahirah, Sean, Hanah and Daryl after the last paper. Toys R Us!! =) There was this long, colourful styrofoam thingies that caught our attention. And yes, we were amused. Very.



Irenaeus and Syida. Young jedis, they are.

And tadah! The dark force. a.k.a Daryl embarrassing himself.



He hoola hooped and walked right into the path of some girls. Not a bad way to pick up girls cuz they wer amused, probably thought he was cute. Ha!

Just when the girls said we wanted to take neoprints, Sean and Daryl disappeared. Gee. Shocking. Haha. If I was a guy, I don't think I would wanna go into a neoprint stall either. Unless my girlfriend forced me to la. And like a nice boyfriend, I would give in. o.O

Haha. I've been watching documentary shows all day. Did you know a brand of jeans in New Zealand actually put live cockroaches in those ad thingies, similar to what we see at bus stops? Just because the brand name is "Bugs". And ppl were very amused. I would be too. And then there's gourmet food. Stir fried locusts. Scorpions in Vodka. Ants in mashed potatoes. Fried crickets. Chocolate coated crickets. I think one day I'd like to try. =)

Annnd.. I'd like to go to the ice hotel! Ppl actually build it all over again every year. Eveything about the hotel is made of ice, from the doors and walls, to glasses, to the sofas, to even the bed! And it looks amazing. Gosh, I can't wait to grow older. I shall be a rich girl and travel the world. Heh. "If I was a rich girl, Nanannannanannananan. See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl." =)

Big dreams, I have. I wonder if I'll be able to make all of them come true.

It just occurred to me that Chinese O Levels are like, two and a half weeks away. Die.

I'm getting really clumsy. Just before bio paper, I tripped over my own stupid table while reaching for the writing paper. While I was reaching for some zip lock bags, I knocked over some wine glasses in the cupboard and 2 of them dropped. Obviously, they broke la. I somehow managed to also trip over Aqil. But get this, I tripped, so did he. We both ended up on the ground laughing. Perhaps my clumsiness is due to the lack of sleep. My eyes look like Musa's eyes. And that's bad.

Took the Lit paper after Bio. I really can't tell if I'll even pass it. I was just writing rubbish all the while anyways, trying to regurgitate whatever dramatic scenes of twelfth night I could remember.

Hakuna Matata! =) Heh. I just love Timon and Pumba, don't you? I should go back to studying, I suppose. Bahhh.

It's been a horrible day. I'm an idiot. A complete nincompoop. I actually went and did 2 questions from sect B of the Geog paper. Like duh, NO WONDER I was struggling to finish the paper! Argh! And after all the effort still, only the first question will be graded, which happens to be the one I left half blank and imcomplete. There goes about 20marks. Let's just hope Ms. Poh is very, very, very merciful. Irenaeus and Syida did the same thing as me, except they did all the sect A questions. I seriously doubt their grades will be affected as much as mine.

And Add Maths? A killer. That should explain it all. Why, oh why was I not born to be mathematically inclined? I suck at Math. Damn. This is so depressing.

Ah, yes. Another day of studying at the airport with the same people. Bumped into Raihanis, Aishah and some other 4C ppl This time the attempt was more fruitful. I managed to do a lot of A.Maths. And a bit of Geography. But of course, Shereen brought her trusty camera and we snapped some pics.





The committment phobic couple. Pretty darn ironic.



Around 5 or so, I got sick of studying so long. I was walking around when suddenly, I remembered. Mother's Day! Got a card for Mum. Later, the rest of them were also all going "Oh yeah. Shit, I haven't gotten anything." so we all got cards for our Mums la. Haha. And I dropped by White Sands to get a nice flower for mum.



Looks very much like the flower in the default MSN display pic doesn't it? =) Followed Sher home for dinner. Her aunt is super nice and super lame. But I thought her joke was funny. Only, Sher seemed to think otherwise.

Darn it. Cramming for Social Studies doesn't help at all. I've only been at it for 10 minutes and my head's starting to hurt. I think it's one of the most useless subjects in school. It's not as if in future, you go for a job interview and the guy will ask you, "To what extent was the Stop at Two campaign responsible for Singapore's ageing population?" Know what? I think maybe S'porean couples aren't making more babies cuz they're too scared of what might be in store for their offspring. i.e: horrors of all horrors, the rigid education system of Sg. But on the other hand, I think it's already quite slack. Imagine learning the solar system when you haven't even reached 6! Speaking from experience here.

English and Chinese papers were okay. Honestly! =) Except maybe I wrote rubbish for both compos. And maybe the English comprehension was an incybincyteenyweenyyellowpolkadotbikini difficult. Maybe.

I'm really beginning to love A.Maths. Finally. Better late than never. Hopefully, by the end of the year, I'll be able to ace it, along with all my other subjects so I can make Aqil's dream come true. Me as the school's top student. Muahhaha. Bullshit. There's a 99% chance it won't happen. But I'm sure everyone's heard of the all-too-popular advice. "Aim for the moon. If you miss, at least you'll fall among the stars." So yeah, I'll do my best.

During tuition today, there was an old student whom to me, the new student, is new cuz I didn't realise he was under the same tuition teacher as well. And amidst Zabid's complaining and Shairul's murmurings, I could have sworn he made my heart skip several beats again. Imagine that. After 2 long years. I hate him. But I don't.

I have an extremely short attention span when it comes to my studies. But then again, that's nothing new.



Heh. Mum doing yoga. She'd still super flexible, man. And in very good shape, I might add. =) She looked about the same when she was younger. The only thing is back then, her hair was shoulder length, complete with the wavy permed hair and Taufik style vintage shades!

I met up with Aqil today. Study. Yeah, right. Short attention span, remember? We ended up meeting Shereen, Musa, Aidil, Favian, Raushan, Razak. We sat in a remote part of T2 and slacked away. Musa brought my baby. =) He seems to be in love with it. Tough luck, Sher. Muahhaa.







Notice the trend. From slacking, to studying and back to slacking. The young and the hopeless. Tsktsk.

Darn, there goes my plans. Why? The lure of Hindustan films. Muahhaah. I loike. They're always the typical cliched story where the good guys always win. Yet, it's the biggest film industry in the world. I wonder why.

Musa took my babies. He's taking care of them cuz he claims that he has a close affinity with guitars and can't stand to know that they're not being played. Heh. Rubbish, I say. But being, the nice person that I am, I lent them to him anyways. At least I won't have the chance to succumb to temptation.

I should stop procrastinating and whatnot. I intended to study today. (Note: intended) Instead, I spent the day thinking of a new template and drifting in and out of sleep. So I've decided to be proactive and came up with a guideline type of time table for me to follow tomorrow.

1000-1200: Finish up tuition homework. (Chinese and A.maths.) With the remaining time, A.Maths TYS
1330-1430: Social Studies Structured Essay Questions on Good Governance
1500-1700: Revise Chinese
1730-1830: E.Maths TYS
2100-2300: Physics TYS

And I suppose I'll fit Lit into the empty timeslots or something. I can't just chuck it aside. Actually, I just wanted to sit for Lit Os and wing it. Hope for the best. But now that Ms Yew wants us to take the Lit paper as well to see if she wants us to drop Lit, I'd better give it a shot.

So hopefully, tomorrow I'll stick to this time table and study. Hopefully. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Heh. Hoorah! I'm a nerd again! =) [And darn proud of it, if I may say so.]